These days have been good days. Woke up this morning, cute guy in my bed, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and my eyes were bright and I was smiling. I cant remember the last time I felt like this. For the first time in a looong time I caught a glimpse of my stomach muscles. It was flat and I felt good, :)
I realised that that maybe I don't need the last guy or the new guy...any guy for that matter to feel happy. But I'm not going to complain, the attention I've been getting since the ex and I split has been nice, offers for dinner and drinks and nights of dancing. I feel free for the first time. Since I was fifteen I've hopped from one committed relationship to another, been cheated on again and again and now I'm finally getting back in control. I'm taking back what love has stolen from me; my body and peace of mind. So I've been reading this book, love is a thief, and the I'm stealing the idea of taking back what love stole from me. Over the years of being someone's girl I've chipped away at my self, leaving behind pieces trying to make myself fit to another person like a perfect puzzle, but now I'm alone I'm taking it back! I taking back my body; lost through romantic meals and gett8ng comfortable with someone, taking back pole dancing; I gave it up because my ex it was promiscuous, gymnastics/swimming/running; all given up because I would have rather spent that time with another person but now, I'm back. Order of business number one- Half marathon.
Taking back running is a big thing for me, I used to use it to escape from reality for a while, when all you can hear it the sound of your breath and the beat in your ears. I ran 6 miles the other day and I was so proud of myself, for me this was a huge achievement. Not quite 13miles but little by little I'm going to get there. I don't know which charity to run for yet, maybe the children's hospice- any suggestions from the imaginary people that may or may not read this would be much appreciated in the comments :D
Other than the reclaiming myself/going on dates/waking up next to cute guys, I need to start taking university more seriously! After I've got all this rambled little thoughts out my head I need to start my assignment that's due tomorrow, then start my revision for January exams. I let my grades slip towards the end of my relationship and in the period of mourning after it had gone, but I remembered my ambition and that all of this was for a reason. I don't want to wake up in five or ten years time and think that I'm nearly 30, achieved nothing and going no where. I want to be somebody and today is the day I start being that person. I like this quote: “Like a butterfly stuck in a chrysalis, waiting for the perfect moment, I was waiting for the day I could burst forth and fly away and find my home.” . That's me right now. just waiting for my thin little butterfly to be free and to show my colours to the world :)
Laters beauts x
